


Ruminations

by dragons_SRSunn



Series: Insights [2]
Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Also I feel Finchpaw should be spotlighted more., The Broken Code: Book 3: Veil of Shadows, after half of ThunderClan decided to exile themselves, and then we never heard from them again, takes place during
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:49:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26243695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragons_SRSunn/pseuds/dragons_SRSunn
Summary: While exiled, Alderheart and Finchpaw have a chat.
Relationships: Alderheart & Finchpaw
Series: Insights [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1877074
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	Ruminations

**Author's Note:**

> This is really written by a friend of mine who was too embarrassed to get her own account, but it is amazing!!!!

"Thanks for offering to help me gather herbs, Finchpaw," Alderheart meowed as he nosed his way through some tall grass. "I know it isn't what you're used to."

"It's fine," Finchpaw told him as she followed him. "I think herbs are interesting. Besides, none of this is."

Alderheart glanced back over his shoulder at her. "None of what is what?"

"None of everything is what I'm used to," Finchpaw replied truthfully.

Alderheart sighed. "I don't think anyone is."

Yesterday, Bramblestar had exiled his own daughter, Finchpaw's mother, Sparkpelt, simply for suggesting that a more qualified cat than Flipclaw take over the position of medicine cat. Graystripe had stood up for her, and Bramblestar had exiled him too. Graystripe had said he wasn't Bramblestar, which Finchpaw still had trouble wrapping her head around. Bramblestar-or not-Bramblestar-had told him that he could leave, along with any other cats who didn't understand loyalty. Many cats who were fed up with the way things were going in ThunderClan had decided to leave with Graystripe and Sparkpelt, including Finchpaw. Now they were all living in SkyClan's old camp on ShadowClan territory, along with ThunderClan cats who had been exiled earlier, like Alderheart, plus most of the codebreakers-Squirrelflight, Lionblaze, Jayfeather,Twigbranch, Mothwing, and Crowfeather. Cinderheart, Finchpaw's mentor, had been exiled too, so theoretically her training could have continued as usual. But the atmosphere in the camp was tense, and the territory was dark and unfamiliar, and her brother wasn't there, so Finchpaw was glad to volunteer when Alderheart asked for help collecting herbs. At least she was able to get out of the camp, with its atmosphere of fear and uncertainty, without having to collect moss for everybody's nests, and Alderheart knew his way around. 

"Alderheart," Finchpaw asked, "how do you know where all the herbs are?"

"Well, I don't know where _all_ the herbs are," her mother's brother told her. "But I've been here for a while already. Puddleshine showed me some good herb-collecting spots. Also, before you were born, Puddleshine was injured, and I treated him in the ShadowClan camp and sort of took over as their medicine cat for a while, so I know my way around. Could you get some of that borage?"

Finchpaw bit a few of the plants with her teeth and held it under her tongue. She made a coughing gagging sound. 

"Are you all right?" Alderheart asked her, concerned.

"I think I just swallowed one," Finchpaw told him, wide-eyed and sounding muffled. "Is it dangerous?"

"Push them forward," Alderheart told her. "In the side of your mouth...okay, good. No, it's not dangerous. Borage is used for fevers and to help nursing mothers, but it isn't harmful if you just eat one, even if you don't have a fever."

Finchpaw nodded. "Will we be here long enough to have nursing mothers?"

The question caught Alderheart off guard. "What? Kits aren't going to be born here. This is a temporary camp!"

"I heard Crowfeather tell Squirrelflight that they hadn't thought they would need an apprentices' den, but then I showed up," the young tortoiseshell insisted. "So for all we know, we're going to be here long enough to need the nursery for kits! And new apprentices! And-"

"Calm down." Alderheart rubbed his muzzle against Finchpaw's side. Her fur was bushed. "We'll be able to go home soon. And the impostor is hardly likely to exile kits, not that there are any in ThunderClan at the moment. Kits can't be codebreakers."

"Really?" Finchpaw asked. Her amber eyes, eerily like Bramblestar's, blazed up at Alderheart. "What about Lionblaze and Jayfeather?"

"What _about_ Lionblaze and Jayfeather?" Alderheart asked.

"Well," Finchpaw meowed, only slightly uncertainly, "they were exiled because they're half WindClan, right?"

"Right," Alderheart confirmed, unsure what she was getting at.

"So that means they broke the warrior code just by being born! Even when they were kits they were codebreakers!" Finchpaw exclaimed. 

Alderheart sighed. He felt like he'd been doing a lot of that lately. "First of all," he told the apprentice, "this whole codebreaking thing is nonsense made up by the impostor. Squirrelflight explained it to you and all the other cats who came yesterday, right? Second of all, Lionblaze and Jayfeather have served ThunderClan loyally all their lives. They were part of the prophecy that saved the Clans from the Dark Forest! Being half WindClan has nothing to do with it."

"So then why were they codebreakers?" Finchpaw wanted to know.

"I told you. The impostor-"

"No," she interrupted. "I mean, why did other cats listen to B- the impostor about them being codebreakers?"

Alderheart stared at her. He sighed again. _Out of the mouths of kits,_ he thought. "I don't know. Here, take some of these daisy leaves, will you?"

They walked on in silence for a while, Alderheart inspecting every bush and clump of grass for herbs, Finchpaw trailing after him. 

"What about their parents?" Finchpaw asked when they paused at the roots of an oak tree.

"Alderheart froze in the action of picking up an oak leaf. "What about whose parents?" he asked, the leaf fluttering to the ground. "Lionblaze and Jayfeather's?"

Finchpaw nodded. "If they're half WindClan, then they have one parent in WindClan and one parent in ThunderClan. And having a mate in another Clan is against the warrior code! Why weren't they named codebreakers?"

"One of them was, actually," Alderheart told her.

"Really?" Finchpaw gasped. "Who?"

Alderheart gave her a funny look, like he wasn't sure whether he should tell her or not. Then he sighed (again) and said, "Crowfeather."

"Crowfeather?" she repeated. "The WindClan deputy? _Crowfeather?_ "

"Well, what did you think he was exiled for?" Alderheart wondered.

"I don't know!" Finchpaw meowed. "I never thought about it!" This was true. She and Flamepaw and Baypaw and Myrtlepaw had had many nighttime conversations in the apprentices' den, but Crowfeather had rarely come up. They'd mostly discussed the ThunderClan codebreakers, Lionblaze, Jayfeather, Twigbranch, and Squirrelflight-plus Dovewing, since she used to be in ThunderClan-and theorizing on what they had done, and what was so terrible about it, and did it really warrant exile. They hadn't thought that much about the other Clans' codebreakers, although they had certainly been mentioned. But they had been too concerned about their own deputy to worry much about WindClan's. "I just...I can't believe Crowfeather...Wow."

"I had a similar reaction when I found out," Alderheart confided.

"I think I can see it now," Finchpaw mewed thoughtfully. "That they're kin, I mean."

"Really?" Alderheart asked her.

She nodded. "He has the same color fur as Jayfeather, only a lot darker and without tabby stripes. And they both have blue eyes. And they're both in a bad mood most of the time." She glanced around nervously. "Um, please don't tell them I said that."

Alderheart purred quietly in amusement. "Don't worry, I won't. I can't disagree with you there."

"So who was Crowfeather's mate in ThunderClan?" Finchpaw wanted to know. "Why wasn't she exiled?" She began thinking of all the ThunderClan she-cats who were old enough to be Lionblaze and Jayfeather's mother. She looked expectantly at Alderheart.

Alderheart avoided her gaze and stared at the oak tree. Finchpaw looked at the oak tree too, but there didn't seem to be anything interesting about it. It was just an oak tree.

"Do you remember Leafpool?" Alderheart asked her, still looking at the oak tree.

She frowned. "A little bit." She actually scarcely remembered Leafpool at all, as she had been a very young kit when Leafpool had died, but she didn't want to tell Alderheart that. Leafpool had been one of his mentors, after all, and his mother's sister. _Her_ mother's mother's sister, Finchpaw remembered. Leafpool was her kin too. She had just one memory of Leafpool-a light brown she-cat with amber eyes just like Lionblaze's looking at her with care and concern. "But," Finchpaw started to ask, "what does she have to do with-"

She froze.

Amber eyes _just like Lionblaze's_.

"No way," she breathed.

Finchpaw was a smart cat, Alderheart noted. She noticed a lot, and she hadn't even needed him to spell out what he was trying to tell her.

"But she was a medicine cat!" Finchpaw's ears stood straight up in surprise.

"Well," Alderheart meowed, finally looking at her,"yes. That's why Squirrelflight raised them."

" _That's_ why she was named a codebreaker," Finchpaw whispered. "Because she pretended her sister's kits were hers." She had heard other cats talk about that, and she'd talked it over with the other apprentices, but none of them had really understood it, despite Flamepaw's eavesdropping and Myrtlepaw's pointed questions. Until now. She couldn't wait to tell the other apprentices!

At the thought of Flamepaw and the others, her tail drooped.

"What's wrong?" Alderheart asked her, rolling two oak leaves around the herbs he'd been carrying, than doing the same for hers.

"Nothing," she replied automatically. 

Alderheart gave her a look. Maybe it was because he was a medicine cat, or maybe because he was her kin, but she felt like she could confide in him.

"Just...I miss Flamepaw," she admitted. "And Baypaw and Myrtlepaw, but especially Flamepaw. If only he hadn't been out practicing hunting with Lilyheart when everybody left yesterday. I bet he would have come with us."

Alderheart brushed her side with his tail. "I'm sure he would have." 

"I'm worried about him." Finchpaw stared at her paws. "We left him back in ThunderClan, all by herself."

"He isn't all by himself," Alderheart tried to reassure her. "He has Lilyheart-she's Larksong's mother, so she'd probably look out for Flamepaw even if she wasn't his mentor. And Leafshade and Honeyfur. And the rest of the Clan-I mean, besides everyone who's here. That's the whole point of a Clan, isn't it? We take care of each other."

Finchpaw sighed. What Alderheart was saying was true. Lilyheart did have a soft spot for them, even allowing that she was Flamepaw's mentor. and Leafshade and Honeyfur were always nice to them, sharing prey with them, talking to them, playing with them when they were kits. Finchpaw and Flamepaw were, after all, the only surviving kits of their dead brother. And Clan cats took care of each other. Finchpaw tried to tell herself this. But what if...

"What if Bramble-the impostor is angry at me and Sparkpelt for leaving," she whispered, "so he punishes Flamepaw?"

Alderheart narrowed his eyes. "Even the impostor wouldn't do something like that."

"How do you know?" Finchpaw challenged him. "Remember the time he sent Sparkpelt to look for catmint and she got attacked by dogs? He threatened to exile us right before that!"

"Did he?" Alderheart murmured.

She nodded vigorously. "She asked him not to banish her because me and Flamepaw still needed her. and then he said she should check on the catmint, because 'a mother who's so worried about taking care of her kits would want to set them a good example'. And he was looking right at Flamepaw when he said that!"

Finchpaw and Flamepaw had stayed up half of that night whispering together in the apprentices' den. They'd wanted to stay with Sparkpelt in the medicine den, but Alderheart assured them that Sparkpelt would be fine, but she needed to rest, and so did the two of them. 

"We could sleep here," Flamepaw suggested.

Jayfeather snorted. "No, you can't, because the last thing I need is two more cats to trip over, and the last thing your mother need is her kits disturbing her when she's trying to recover."

"We wouldn't-" Finchpaw started.

"What Jayfeather means," Alderheart interrupted, "is that Sparkpelt wouldn't want the two of you to worry about her. She'll be fine. I promise. Now, please try to get some sleep. This has been a long day for all of us."

Finchpaw and Flamepaw looked at the two medicine cats blocking the entrance to the medicine den. There was no way they would be able to get past them, even though one of them was blind. But that one was _Jayfeather_ , so....

"'Get some sleep', he says," Finchpaw muttered as she settled into her nest in the apprentices' den. "Like we'll be able to sleep tonight. Ha."

"Don't you think it's strange?" Flamepaw asked her.

"Don't I think what's strange?" Finchpaw asked. "Because I can think of lots of things."

"Bramblestar," Flamepaw whispered, worrying a piece of moss between two of his claws. "He's acting so...odd."

"Maybe this is how he always was," Finchpaw suggested, although she'd seen enough strange looks and overheard enough snippets of conversations between the older warriors to know that that probably wasn't the case.

Flamepaw shook his head. "No, it can't be. Remember when we were kits? He would come to the nursery and play with us and give us badger rides. He wasn't like this _then_."

"Can you two keep it down?" Myrtlepaw requested from the other side of the den. "I'm trying to sleep."

"Maybe it's because we're apprentices now," Finchpaw mused aloud, trying to speak quietly. "So he doesn't treat us like kits anymore."

"It's not just you," Baypaw informed them from his nest where he'd supposedly been sleeping. "He's been acting weird ever since he lost a life. I heard my parents talking about it. And that was when we were all kits, remember?"

"Do you think dying and coming back made him act like this?" Finchpaw wondered.

"Well, he says StarClan spoke to him about the codebreakers, doesn't he?" Baypaw pointed out. "Or something like that, anyway."

"It's...almost scary," Flamepaw admitted. "Did you see the way he looked at Sparkpelt? It's like he doesn't care about her at all anymore, even though she's his daughter. Even when she came back injured-he was just sitting there. It's almost like-"

"WILL YOU ALL BE QUIET?! I SAID I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!" Myrtlepaw hollered.

So that had been the end of that conversation.

But Flamepaw had whispered one more thing into Finchpaw's ear...

_"It's almost like he isn't Bramblestar anymore."_

At the time, neither of them knew how true that statement was.

"The impostor wouldn't exile Flamepaw," Alderheart told her now. "Not after what happened when he exiled Sparkpelt. So many cats left with her in protest, like you. If he tries to exile an innocent apprentice-no cat will stand for that. The fallout wouldn't be worth it."

"I guess," Finchpaw mumbled, feeling a tiny bit better. But only a tiny bit.

Alderheart gave her some thyme leaves to add to her bundle of herbs. They walked on for a while in silence, stopping only when Alderheart picked some leaves or stalks or roots, sometimes giving them to Finchpaw or telling her to pick them. 

"How do you know the difference between all the herbs?" she asked, staring at the leaves that looked almost exactly the same as the last three sets of leaves they had collected, but which Alderheart assured her were dock leaves, and not thyme, rowan, or violet leaves. 

"I did train for this," he reminded her. "There's a reason medicine-cat apprenticeship lasts longer than warrior apprenticeship."

Finchpaw imagined having to remember the names of all the herbs and what they looked like _and_ what they were used for. "Wow. Was it hard?"

"Yes," Alderheart admitted. "But it was worth it, to become a medicine cat."

"So, you always wanted to become a medicine cat?" Finchpaw asked.

"No," Alderheart confessed. "I originally trained as a warrior apprentice. But then Starclan sent me a vision," _and I wasn't good at warrior training anyway,_ "so Bramblestar apprenticed me to Leafpool and Jayfeather."

"What was your vision of?" Finchpaw asked.

"SkyClan," he replied. "That they were in trouble, and had to return to the lake."

"And they did!" Finchpaw exclaimed proudly. " I know all the stories and everything that happened!"

"Yes," Alderheart agreed, privately doubting that Finchpaw could know _everything_ that had happened as much as a cat who had lived through it did, like himself and Twigbranch and Violetshine. Twigbranch had told him that Violetshine still had nightmares about Needletail.

Needletail....

He shook himself, realizing that Finchpaw had asked him something else.

"I'm sorry, what?" he asked her.

"I said, how did you know that it was a vision and not a regular dream?" Finchpaw asked. "Visions are like dreams, right?"

"Usually," Alderheart told her. "Not like omens-those are signs."

Finchpaw looked confused.

"Never mind," Alderheart meowed. "Anyway, to answer your question, I knew my dream was a vision because I'd dreamed of cats I'd never seen before. Then I told Sandstorm about it, and she recognized the cats as SkyClan cats, so we went on the quest...." and Sandstorm had died. He still missed her.

"But," Finchpaw asked a little nervously, "how did StarClan know SkyClan was in trouble? I mean," she went on, her voice gaining momentum, as though she'd wanted to ask this for a while, "they're _dead_. How do they know what's happening in the forest? They aren't here. And even if they are here, like the ghosts cats say Tree can see, they're _here._ So how do they know what's happening somewhere else or what's going to happen?"

Alderheart stared at her. For a moment he was too shocked to speak. But really, he thought, he and the other medicine cats should have anticipated this. The five Clans had been cut off from StarClan for moons. If this went on for too much longer, they would have a generation of warriors and apprentices who had only the barest idea of what StarClan was. He would have to speak to Sparkpelt and Sorrelstripe about teaching their kits about StarClan. Well, to Sparkpelt, anyway. He didn't know when he would next see Sorrelstripe. And he should speak to the other medicine cats-maybe they could have some kind of lesson with the apprentices in each Clan...

He shook himself. _Focus, Alderheart. One problem at a time._ Right now he had Finchpaw's questions to answer.

"Well, Finchpaw," he started, wishing his mouth wasn't so dry, " you're right. StarClan are dead; the spirits of our warrior ancestors."

"What about kits?" Finchpaw interrupted. "And apprentices? And medicine cats? Do they go to StarClan too?"

"They do," Alderheart promised her, knowing she must be thinking of Flickerkit, the brother she had never known. "We just say 'warrior ancestors' because there are more warriors in StarClan than medicine cats and kits and apprentices, thankfully.  
"As I was saying, StarClan are dead. But their spirits live on in the stars. Haven't you ever looked up at the night sky and wondered how many stars there can be, and if the sky has an end? And the way it can make you feel"-he sounded so wistful-"like everything and nothing all at once. Have you ever felt like that?"

Finchpaw nodded. Looking at and thinking about the night sky usually gave her feelings similar to the ones Alderheart was describing. She imagined it must be even stronger for medicine cats, especially when they still had StarClan. She shivered.

"Now imagine _being_ a star," Alderheart went on. "Just like we look up at the sky and see so many stars, they look down and see all the Clans. From Silverpelt, they can see everything that happens in the forest, and everything that will happen, and if danger is coming, they warn us. Does that make sense?"

Finchpaw mumbled something that sounded like "Sort of a little bit." Alderheart supposed that was the best he was going to get under the circumstances. It was a good start, at least.

Then Finchpaw asked, "But how do they send medicine cats visions?"

"What Jayfeather thinks happens," Alderheart explained, "is that when we sleep, part of our spirit goes into StarClan, and StarClan speaks to us there."

"So," Finchpaw asked, "every time we sleep, we're a little bit dead?"

Alderheart stared at her. He'd never thought of it that way before. "I suppose you could put it that way," he meowed slowly.

Finchpaw could just tell she was going to have a wonderful time sleeping tonight. 

She'd already had a hard time sleeping last night. She would have thought it would be fun, having an entire den to herself. But it wasn't. The den felt too big and too empty and too quiet, and she'd been too worried about Flamepaw. Shortly before moonhigh, she'd crept out of the den and climbed into Sparkpelt's nest. She'd fallen asleep almost instantly. Maybe she would do that again tonight.

She thought of something. "But Shadowsight's vision of the codebreakers was from the impostor, right? Is the impostor from StarClan?"

"We don't know," Alderheart admitted.

"I thought medicine cats were supposed to know everything," Finchpaw grumbled, sounding uncannily like Sparkpelt.

Alderheart's whiskers twitched in amusement. "All right, here's what we _do_ know. We know he gave Shadowsight the vision of the codebreakers, so he, the impostor, is probably from StarClan or the Dark Forest, since Dark Forest cats have been known to visit cats in their dreams too. We know he took over Bramblestar's body that time he lost a life. When he died, instead of Bramblestar's spirit coming back into his body, the impostor's did. So we know the impostor is dead. And we know he hates cats who break the warrior code."

Finchpaw waited for more. "That's it?"

"That's it," Alderheart confirmed. 

"But what happened to the real Bramblestar's spirit?" Finchpaw asked. "Did he go to StarClan?"

"No, he's still in the forest," Alderheart told her.

"How will we get him back in his body, and get the impostor _out_ of his body?" Finchpaw asked.

"I don't know," he admitted again.

"But we will, right?" she asked, looking at him for reassurance.

"We will," he assured her, sounding a lot more confident than he felt. He cleared his throat. "Finchpaw, could you bring your bundle of herbs back to camp? I'll be coming in a minute."

Finchpaw nodded. "Thanks."

"Thanks for what?" Alderheart asked, puzzled.

"For taking me with you," she replied. "And listening to me. And answering my questions." She shrugged, picked up her herbs, and turned and headed in the directions of the old SkyClan camp.

Alderheart stood there watching his sister's daughter until she vanished into the trees. _We'll get him back,_ he promised everyone, Sparkpelt, Squirrelflight, Jayfeather, Twigbranch. _We'll get the real Bramblestar back._

But the Clans had never faced a situation like this before. _W_ _ould_ they get the real Bramblestar back? He did not know. He could only hope. 


End file.
